I could not exist without him. He's beautiful, breathtaking, and have I mentioned recently, built like a God? To fuck him is to be anointed, carnal and celestial all at once.
But beyond that, he believes in the good in people. In the face of corruption, hell in the face of my father, he still found mercy. Belief, if not in my father, then in me.
And this even though he isn't himself, not after what my father put him through. This morning he wanted comfort. I tried to give him that and more. I'm used to him being stronger than this. He doesn't usually show his vulnerability in this way.
I don't know exactly how to handle it. I'm doing my best, but even after all these years with him, there are some types of intimacy at which I am not adept.
Fortunately, sex is not a problem. But I know it's only a temporary fix for deeper fault lines.